Concision Rides Again (2 of 12)
In the previous post, I quoted from my own IELTS Writing Task Two book (Page 33 of Edition 2, or Page 39 of Edition 3, both at the bottom), which states …
This new sentence is much shorter, and makes the same point. That is, the sentence is concise, and concision is a sign of a good writer.
Concision helps give you that ‘clear progression’ (= IELTS 7). Thus, if a sentence can make the same point in fewer words, WRITE THAT SENTENCES! You then have time to …
- move on,
- say more,
- and achieve more of the task.
Then, you are on the way to getting IELTS 7, got it? Time to practice.
Try making the following sentences more concise.
The answers will be given and explained in the next post.
1.
Generally speaking, the exportation of coal was the biggest part of Australia’s exports, and iron was the second biggest one, both in the year 2005 and the next year, 2010. These two items when combined together were more than one half of all the exports. [45 words]
2.
They could threaten people who are going to attack them. [10 words]
3.
Gun owners would say that people have a right to possess guns for protection of their lives and property. They believe people have responsibilities and abilities to fight back against criminals. [32 words]
4.
Iron and coal are the most popular products which were traded overseas. On the other hand, the exportation percentage of wheat and meat are much less significant. [27 words]
5.
… countries which have different their culture and geographic features. [9 words]
6.
… which are easily available and accessible to the holiday makers as opposed to the previous tourists who could only find the information from travel agencies and purchase package tours. [29 words]
By the way, you can learn more about me at www.aisielts.com .